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6 Ways a Long Distance Relationship Makes You More in Love | Shape Magazine
LDR Essentials. Long distance relationship tip 1: Use this time to get to know them well. The biggest benefit of being in a LDR is that it forces you to communicate. Start slow, especially if you haven't met. Also check out.
Meet in person as soon as possible. Set up healthy communication patterns early in your long distance relationship. Prioritize talking with each other. It can take real effort to rearrange schedules and make time to talk, especially when things get busy or there is a time difference involved. Give each other some virtual space. Learn to ask good questions and listen well. Find new things to talk about.
6 Tips for a Healthy Long Distance Relationship
Most couples in a long distance relationship will go through periods where they struggle to find things to talk about apart from how their day was. When these seasons hit, put a bit more effort into finding new and fresh things to discuss or make it easy on yourself and check out the book below. Read, listen to, or watch the same things. So recommend books, articles, podcasts, music, movies, news items, etc to each other. If you can read or listen to some of the same things, that will help you share experiences and give you new things to talk about.
Read up on some of those stories and learn from those who have gone before. Write to each other sometimes. If you only ever talk to each other, try writing letters or long emails sometimes. Writing gives you more time and space to reflect on tricky issues, and letters and emails can become treasured keepsakes or maybe even a book in the future. Discuss how you deal with pressure. Tell your partner how they can best help you during those times.
Ask your partner to share these things with you, too. Learn more about how you both approach conflict. Conflict is inevitable in relationships, but being in a long distance relationship makes managing conflict well even more difficult. If you want to know how to make a long distance relationship work, learn some basic conflict-management strategies and discuss them with your partner before you find yourself mid-fight.
Discuss your big disagreements in person. If possible, save your serious disagreements for when you can talk them out in person or at least on the phone. Learn to recognize and control your own emotions. Long distance relationships often involve intense emotions and extreme ups and downs. There are times of intense loneliness, uncertainty, doubts, and fear. There are also times of extreme excitement, joy, and incandescent happiness.
Learning to recognize, own, and manage your own emotions will pay off big time—now and in the future. Learn to control any jealousy in your long distance relationship. Feeling a little jealous now and again is not unusual in a long distance relationship. However, uncontrolled jealousy can lead to a destructive combination of suspicion, possessiveness, insecurity, anger, and shame. Stonewalling is using silence as a weapon or an escape. It is controlling the situation by simply refusing to engage.
Distance makes this particularly easy to do hanging up or not answering or returning calls , and it can drive your long distance partner crazy with frustration, second-guessing, and self-doubt. Talk honestly about money. Tackling this hot topic directly can help avoid assumptions and conflict. Figure out the best, low-cost way to connect. Learn what your different love languages are and practice speaking them.
Do you know what your primary love language is? Do you know how to speak your partners? Build your love maps. Your love map is your mental network of information about your partner—their interests, stories, what makes them tick, and things you love and admire about them. The more positive memories and associations you build into this love map, the stronger your relationship will be over time. Trust is a major issue for many LDR couples. Talking about these things and any growing feelings of jealousy or unease can save you a lot of heartache and conflict in the long run.
Laugh together. Share things with each other that have made you laugh. Surprise your partner every so often with something thoughtful. Everyone loves getting a present, a bunch of flowers, or a handwritten letter in the mail. Every so often, go the extra mile and do something extra and special to help your partner feel loved and valued. Bonus points if the gesture is uber-thoughtful. Keep your partner on your mind. Make sure you have some reminders of your partner around—perhaps put their photo on your desktop or tape it to your mirror, drink out a coffee mug they gave you… the possibilities are endless.
Help your partner connect with your friends and family. Find a way to involve and connect your partner with some of the other important relationships in your life. Figure out what helps YOU cope. Everyone is different, and so is every relationship.
Everyone has different tips and tricks that help them cope better with the ups and downs that come with being in a long distance relationship. Figure out what works for you, then do it. Have other interests.